Wednesday, April 10, 2013

I am having minor panic attacks about clinicals and my ability to keep up with school while taking care of Loki, the apartment, and still getting to the barn. This probably isn't the absolute best time to buy a horse, knowing that I'm about to enter another stressful time in my life, but... when will it get better? I keep saying I'll do it next year, it'll be easier, I'll have more money, time, energy, etc. But the fact is.. none of that ever happens. If anything, I seem to have less of everything with every passing day.

And the more reality becomes: It's time to settle down, stop being such a dreamer, get that full-time job and find a guy you can stand, marry them, have 2.5 kids, buy the SUV, and... have your life revolve around everyone else but you. Chris trying to force me into that box was what made me wake up and realize I'm not ready to do any of that. It pushed me to forge ahead and work on me- my career, my dreams, the things I want to do before something/one comes along and sidetracks me again.

Don't get me wrong, he also pushed me to realize that one day, I probably wouldn't mind having a family, but... not today. Today, I want my life to revolve around Loki, Abbi, and... Miss Mare. Who shall remain unnamed.

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