So... Happy Birthday to meeee!! That day- the day I officially became closer to 30 than 25, was Saturday. And the loverly loverly mare gave me one of the most memorable presents ever- an emergency vet call, surgery in the form of 5 stitches and 3 staples, and... more of my budget than I care to think of.

What have I not written since then to tell you of such news? Well- It's really only gotten better from there! She refuses to eat her antibiotics. At all. So... No grain, either. For 4 days. I haven't noticed a ton of progress in her wound: her knee is a beach ball- legit, you could easily fit a softball x 1.5 in the space of her knee; today, she's limping on it, and it looks like swelling around the stitches. Which to me says infection.. And I can't even say she's been on Abx, because Miss Mare refused to eat them. She got one half of a syringed dose last night. The other half was on me. See? Better and better.

So, I called the vet last night- who got back to me today, and who I asked to come out tomorrow because I think it's hit critical mass and she now needs IM Abx. Only consolation is that I know I have done EVERYTHING in my power to get this girl to eat her meds and take care of her leg. I made carrot paste(raw carrots blended), I made baby food carrot paste (steamed carrots mashed), I tried molasses w/ and w/o carrots, then I went straight to the syringe and she flung it everywhere.

I am so frustrated and stressed out and exhausted, all I want to do is cry. And sleep. But I don't sleep bc I wake up every 2 hours thinking of how tight her wraps are, or how I didn't take her temp tonight, or... any number of things I have done wrong because I am a first-time owner without anyone around to really guide me, just trying to use my God-given brain to make a stubborn mare better. So I think I'm just going to go cry now. Again.